yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
