you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
