All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He told me they were just razor bumps!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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