I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
