1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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