i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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