erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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