ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize