i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
