Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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