I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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