I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
