I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize