you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Let's paint friendship bongs
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
