We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
