i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I need moral support for this bender
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
