I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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