Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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