Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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