yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
