If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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