im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
