Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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