and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
