We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
