I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
