So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
