Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
