Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
