she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
