How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
