Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
