Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize