thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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