At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
