ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh god the rape fog is back!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
you made out with another girl for some wings
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
