i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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