Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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