We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
