The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
