Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
