i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
