I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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