: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
