with your own penis?
she was so not down for the gang bang
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
