A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Success! We fucked roommates!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
