what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize