I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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