I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
