no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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