Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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