Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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