We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize