is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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