Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
