I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
