Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
