It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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