Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
