I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
