Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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