At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
