thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
