my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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