I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Less talking, more tequila
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
