just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
