I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
