i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
